高中英语语法-习作评析（5）
习作评析（5）
假若一个新西兰教育参观团要到你校访问 ， 他们想了解中国教育的基本情况，请根据以下图表和所给提示，用英语写一篇 120 字左右的短文，为来客介绍当今中国教育的基本情况。
1. 提示词：（ 1 ） compulsory education －义务教育；（ 2 ） junior middle school －初中；（ 3 ） senior middle school －高中；（ 4 ） professional school －职业学校。
2. 短文须包括以下要点：
在高校，部分费用由家庭承担；中国教育尽管成绩巨大，但需要改革。
学生原文
Education System in China Today
Education in China today has been developing rapidly. In many provinces， it is compulsory and free. Most children are started school by the age of six. They spend five or six years in primary school and three years of junior middle school， which are compulsory education.
After that， some can attend professional school for two to three years before work. Some will attend senior middle school for three years. Students have to pass by a series of examination before enter a college or university. The college or university life lasts two to four years. Now part of the costs are provided with their families， although students can get the support from the college. After they graduate， they can go and find jobs.
Though China have taken place great changes in the fields of education， there are a great deal to be improved.
名师点评：
这是一篇说明文，考生能够根据图表的顺序和所给提示，比较条理地叙述中国的教育基本情况，内容要点齐全，能灵活运用所学词汇，语言较为生动，如：现在完成进行时的运用，非限定性定语从句的运用等。
文中个别地方内容重复，如：第二句（ In many provinces， it is compulsory and free. ）多余，且不知所云，文中最后一句出现了汉语式的英语。个别句子产生主谓不一致的错误，有的地方介词搭配欠佳，现分别分析如下：
（ 1 ）第二句多余。
（ 2 ） are started 改为 start .
（ 3 ） of 改为 in ，因为 spend 与 in 搭配。
（ 4 ）去掉 will ，全文用一般现在时介绍中国的教育情况。
（ 5 ） pass by 改为 pass . pass by 意为经过、路过， pass 在此意为通过、（考试）过关
（ 6 ） enter 改为 entering . before 如果作介词用，后接动词的 -ing 形式，如果作连词用，后接从句，应该改为 they enters .
（ 7 ） costs are 改为 cost is .做费用解，是不可数名词后接动词的单数形式。
（ 8 ） provided with 改为 provided by .
（ 9 ）最后一句 Though China has taken great changes ， there are a great deal 考生受汉语思维的影响，应该改为 Though great changes have taken place in China ， there is much 。
精品范文：
Education System in China Today
Education in China today has been developing rapidly. Most children start school by the age of six. They spend five or six years in primary school and three years in junior middle school， which are compulsory education.
After that， some can attend professional school for two to three years before work. Some attend senior middle school for three years. Students have to pass a series of examinations before entering a college or university. The college or university life lasts two to four years. Now part of the cost is provided by with their families， although students can get the support from the college. After they graduate， they can go and find jobs.
Though great changes have taken place in the fields of education in China， there is still much to be improved.
习作评析（5）
假若一个新西兰教育参观团要到你校访问 ， 他们想了解中国教育的基本情况，请根据以下图表和所给提示，用英语写一篇 120 字左右的短文，为来客介绍当今中国教育的基本情况。
1. 提示词：（ 1 ） compulsory education －义务教育；（ 2 ） junior middle school －初中；（ 3 ） senior middle school －高中；（ 4 ） professional school －职业学校。
2. 短文须包括以下要点：
在高校，部分费用由家庭承担；中国教育尽管成绩巨大，但需要改革。
学生原文
Education System in China Today
Education in China today has been developing rapidly. In many provinces， it is compulsory and free. Most children are started school by the age of six. They spend five or six years in primary school and three years of junior middle school， which are compulsory education.
After that， some can attend professional school for two to three years before work. Some will attend senior middle school for three years. Students have to pass by a series of examination before enter a college or university. The college or university life lasts two to four years. Now part of the costs are provided with their families， although students can get the support from the college. After they graduate， they can go and find jobs.
Though China have taken place great changes in the fields of education， there are a great deal to be improved.
名师点评：
这是一篇说明文，考生能够根据图表的顺序和所给提示，比较条理地叙述中国的教育基本情况，内容要点齐全，能灵活运用所学词汇，语言较为生动，如：现在完成进行时的运用，非限定性定语从句的运用等。
文中个别地方内容重复，如：第二句（ In many provinces， it is compulsory and free. ）多余，且不知所云，文中最后一句出现了汉语式的英语。个别句子产生主谓不一致的错误，有的地方介词搭配欠佳，现分别分析如下：
（ 1 ）第二句多余。
（ 2 ） are started 改为 start .
（ 3 ） of 改为 in ，因为 spend 与 in 搭配。
（ 4 ）去掉 will ，全文用一般现在时介绍中国的教育情况。
（ 5 ） pass by 改为 pass . pass by 意为经过、路过， pass 在此意为通过、（考试）过关
（ 6 ） enter 改为 entering . before 如果作介词用，后接动词的 -ing 形式，如果作连词用，后接从句，应该改为 they enters .
（ 7 ） costs are 改为 cost is .做费用解，是不可数名词后接动词的单数形式。
（ 8 ） provided with 改为 provided by .
（ 9 ）最后一句 Though China has taken great changes ， there are a great deal 考生受汉语思维的影响，应该改为 Though great changes have taken place in China ， there is much 。
精品范文：
Education System in China Today
Education in China today has been developing rapidly. Most children start school by the age of six. They spend five or six years in primary school and three years in junior middle school， which are compulsory education.
After that， some can attend professional school for two to three years before work. Some attend senior middle school for three years. Students have to pass a series of examinations before entering a college or university. The college or university life lasts two to four years. Now part of the cost is provided by with their families， although students can get the support from the college. After they graduate， they can go and find jobs.
Though great changes have taken place in the fields of education in China， there is still much to be improved.
