Native Speaker的雅思写作9分范文赏析

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Native Speaker的雅思写作9分范文赏析

  中国人写的雅思作文有结构但语言不够地道;native speaker写的文章够地道,但不够雅思!因此,市面上总找不到完美的雅思例文。

  此次,我特别邀请我的美国朋友按照我的要求写了一些文章,这里逐一贴出来,让大家分享一下,呵呵。。。

  Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  Some feel that the children of low income families are better equipped to deal with difficulties posed by the real world when they grow up and they also believe the privileged children of wealthy families are less fit to deal with these difficulties . The implications and veracity of this argument seem self-evident, but in fact require closer examination.

  点评: 1+ 1 模式,最后 1 句为主题句。此段的主题句稍微有点特殊,它的确否定了前面所提到的观点,从而表达出了自己的观点,此外还引出了下文。特别是最后半句: but in fact require closer examination ,感觉是在抛砖引玉。

  The popular wisdom is that children of poorer families learn early on the value of a buck, and are thus naturally better suited to stretching moneywhen times get tough in adulthood. Inversely, the children of wealthy families, thoseborn with a silver spoon in their mouths, are believed to be completely ignorant of the value of money, having had everything provided for them in their youth and oftentimes erroneously expecting the same situation in adulthood. They are believed to be prone to overspending and financial irresponsibility. This belief, though logical, overlooks one key point which is , of course, education.

  A poor child may believe that one can get along, if not as easily, without wealth. A wealthy child may be well trained by a parent steeped in the knowledge of money management; the key to developing this skill is education.

  点评:最后一段有点像是提出解决这个问题的办法,即 education. 它没有像传统的结尾段那样简单的重申自己的观点。

  总结之总结:

  全文的观点有待揣摩,作者很明显是不赞成题目的说法,即 Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. 但是作者自己是更偏向穷人家的孩子呢,还是富人家的孩子呢?!根据文章来看,作者是中立,他所看重的是他们所接受的教育。In other words,整篇文章又是一次中立的写法。在雅思考试中,这种写法经常使用,还是非常实用的,大家可以学习一下。此外,文章中有很多好词好句,特别是长句,值得模仿一下。

  此文9分。

  

  中国人写的雅思作文有结构但语言不够地道;native speaker写的文章够地道,但不够雅思!因此,市面上总找不到完美的雅思例文。

  此次,我特别邀请我的美国朋友按照我的要求写了一些文章,这里逐一贴出来,让大家分享一下,呵呵。。。

  Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  Some feel that the children of low income families are better equipped to deal with difficulties posed by the real world when they grow up and they also believe the privileged children of wealthy families are less fit to deal with these difficulties . The implications and veracity of this argument seem self-evident, but in fact require closer examination.

  点评: 1+ 1 模式,最后 1 句为主题句。此段的主题句稍微有点特殊,它的确否定了前面所提到的观点,从而表达出了自己的观点,此外还引出了下文。特别是最后半句: but in fact require closer examination ,感觉是在抛砖引玉。

  The popular wisdom is that children of poorer families learn early on the value of a buck, and are thus naturally better suited to stretching moneywhen times get tough in adulthood. Inversely, the children of wealthy families, thoseborn with a silver spoon in their mouths, are believed to be completely ignorant of the value of money, having had everything provided for them in their youth and oftentimes erroneously expecting the same situation in adulthood. They are believed to be prone to overspending and financial irresponsibility. This belief, though logical, overlooks one key point which is , of course, education.

  A poor child may believe that one can get along, if not as easily, without wealth. A wealthy child may be well trained by a parent steeped in the knowledge of money management; the key to developing this skill is education.

  点评:最后一段有点像是提出解决这个问题的办法,即 education. 它没有像传统的结尾段那样简单的重申自己的观点。

  总结之总结:

  全文的观点有待揣摩,作者很明显是不赞成题目的说法,即 Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. 但是作者自己是更偏向穷人家的孩子呢,还是富人家的孩子呢?!根据文章来看,作者是中立,他所看重的是他们所接受的教育。In other words,整篇文章又是一次中立的写法。在雅思考试中,这种写法经常使用,还是非常实用的,大家可以学习一下。此外,文章中有很多好词好句,特别是长句,值得模仿一下。

  此文9分。